she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize