and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
