I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
