Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
