i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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