I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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