using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
