i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
love makes seman taste better
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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