just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
did i just pee glitter
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
tell me about the fingering
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
