I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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