Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
