I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
