One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
