i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
