Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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