We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Umm I'm too high to move.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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