I skipped work to stalk him.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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