I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
