He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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