Yo dont text me then not text me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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