i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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