thus making me awesome and them whores
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
