I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
