I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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