SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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