Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
