I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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