Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
