I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
