What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
