Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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