how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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