dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
