Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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