20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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