What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
