Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
