she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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