If i come over, it means nothing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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