carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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