I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
