so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
