im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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