How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
