I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
