guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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