He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
