So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
