Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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