You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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