i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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