Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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