shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
