maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Your cock deserves a montage
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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