He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
