I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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