Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
someone owes me an orgasm
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
