he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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