i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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