and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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