So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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