a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm too high and old for this...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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