I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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