Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
