Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
